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Posts Tagged ‘Gucci’

I used to work for this local lifestyle magazine. I was the Publisher. I worked a lot. It wasn’t hard work, it was work like black tie charity events, grand openings of new restuarants, vodka tastings, parties at Gucci (yes, I’m wondering why I left too). But bottomline was I put in a lot of hours, so I had a full-time nanny. Now L (we’ll call her that to protect her identity…cause so many people read this I don’t want her stalked or anything, lol) was 19 when she started with us and the girls loved her. In fact, I remember clearly when she was gone for a week on Spring Break and about 3 days into her 7 days off, my youngest says…when is L coming back? I don’t think the kids have ever cared when I’m coming back from anywhere. Brats! I believe the second day I recall doing this: At 2:45 I tell my assistant to make sure I leave at 2:20 or I will be late to pick up the kids. Yep, see where I’m going with this. After about day 4, I sent her a text and said, “Who told you I could raise my own children? And how much would it take to make you come home now”? Haha, I was only slightly kidding! So, this brings me to remember all the times I’ve said or done something and thought to myself, “Whose idea was it that I could raise kids“? Here are some examples:

Oldest, when she was about 9, was panicking as I was dropping her off at school. She was crying and screaming that she had to get the Power Puff Girls bandaid off her leg or “J” (best friend’s older brother who she had a crush on) would make fun of her. My response…well when he makes fun of you, remind him that at least you’re not 12 and suck your thumb…like him, oh and make sure you say it in front of all of his friends. Yep, real grown up! Way to parent!

Or this…oldest was 3 years old and youngest was a newborn. We were shopping at Babies R Us and oldest is running around like a wild banshee, screaming and pulling things off the racks…so I grab her, plop her butt in the seat of the cart and say quietly but firmly in her ear…sit down and shut the hell up…at which point she replies loudly in her wild banshee voice…”I WILL NOT SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP”! At which point I then hide my head in shame and quickly leave the Babies R Us while all the good mothers stared disapprovingly!

And this…when the oldest would come running down the hallway in tears with the youngest on her tail with fists wailing…and oldest would say, “Help me she’s going to hit me”…my response would commonly be, “Well, I’m sure you deserve it”! (In all fairness though, most of the time…she really did probably deserve it).

Or more recently, my oldest hollers at me from her bedroom, at which point I walk all the way down the hall, open the door and she says, “Can you go to Sonic and get me ice cream”? and I reply nicely, “No…but you can kiss my ass”! (Hey, I did say it very nicely).

And then of course there’s always things like this…I think Dr Pepper and a donut is the breakfast of champions…I believe I should be able to cuss but they can’t and they need to just understand that I’m an adult and I can do what ever I want, SO THERE (and I tell them that frequently)…While they are watching tv instead of doing homework; I’m sitting on the couch right next to them…And of course when they are crying at 10 pm that they are tired but still have homework, I tell them I guess they should have not watched tv; then I say good night because I’m tired and I don’t have any homework so I’ll see them in the morning!

Of course there are my favorite lines for when they ask me for something; I say, No, but thanks for asking (hey at least I’m polite)…or when they ask me to do something; I say, Let’s not and say we did. I think those are very legitimate responses to, can you get me a drink and let’s go for a walk.

I remember when I was pregnant with my youngest and my oldest was yelling at me or bossing me or something (if you haven’t noticed, the oldest was quite the handful…hell who am I kidding, she is still a handful) and I turned to my mom and said, “At what point did I lose my sanity and think I could handle a second one“?

And now, almost 13 years later, I’m still wondering that.

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