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Posts Tagged ‘Housekeeping’

So, let’s just say…I would like to marry Mr. Clean! So, anyone who knows me well, knows I do not believe in marriage…so the fact that I say I would like to marry anyone , says a lot. This really has been the most random of realizations. Of course, most things running through my head are extremely random (as noted in my last post) but this is actually quite entertaining how this has all come about.

So, its Friday night. My weekend entails this…Saturday Conflicted Mean Girl is coming over with the little munchkin (YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and we are going to lay by the pool, drink some pina coladas and then after the little one’s daddy comes and picks her up, me and the Mean Girl are going to get some crazy on. Or at least…that’s what we old folks are going to call it (me being much older than her but I’m dragging her in to that description anyways). And then on Sunday…my PARENTS. ARE. COMING. Now its just for the day, yes. They only live about 2 hours away. And they come up once a month to buy me groceries at Costco (I love being the only single daughter out of four…and my dad assumes without a man, I need help…which, Dad…please keep assuming…because I do…LOVE THEM). But the point is…MY. PARENTS. ARE. COMING! And I’m the worst housekeeper in the world. So…it’s Friday. Saturday is “Get your crazy on day”, so when the hell am I supposed to clean?

So…that being said. Came home tonight. Had some McDonald’s with the youngest one (yeah that should give me some energy, NOT) and then thought, shit…I need some wine…and some energy. Yeah wine doesn’t really ever give me energy…but this was an emergency, so I tried. I mean…if you could see my house. Yeah. It is JUST SHY OF BEING ON AN EPISODE OF COPS! Haha I always tell the girls that when I’m trying to get them to help me clean. Yeah, it doesn’t really work. Anyways…I’m like 2 1/2 paragraphs in and you’re now probably wondering why I started this post with, I want to marry Mr. Clean. Ok, so here it goes…I got on a roll cleaning. And really, that’s all it takes…so I’m working my way through the house and I get to my bathroom. Now, the other shower in the house is broken so we all use my shower…and with 3 girls in the house, and about 400 hair, body and face products…my shower is not pretty. I say, not pretty…because that’s the nicest thing I can say about it…without throwing up a little in my mouth.

Ok…so I worked my way through the house and got to the shower…I feel like I need some horror movie music right now…I open the shower door…UUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Yeah…THAT. GROSS!!!! So, my dad has mixed up this bleach and whatever else mixture for me and left it in my bathroom (obviously because he’s had to shower in there before) so I start by spraying that on the floor, which is almost black (its really white tile) and on the wall behind where the 40 bottles of shampoo and conditioner usually sit (lots of mold, YUCK). And I let it sit. And I scrub. And I spray some more. And I let it sit. And I scrub. WHAT THE HELL! WHAT IS THIS SHIT…KRYPTONITE??? Nothing. Still black. Still mold. Arms. Tired. Bleach. Killing. Me! What now???!!!

So, I look under my kitchen sink where I for some reason have a collection of cleaning items and cleansers. Odd that I would spend so much money on stuff that I never use. Oh yeah…I have all the right ideas…just never seem to put it all in motion. Okay, so this is where Mr. Clean comes in. So, under the sink is a Scotch Brite Tub & Shower Scrubber (brand new) which is like 5 inches long and has this very tough, scratchy blue stuff on one side of it. And then there’s the normal sponge I was already using, Scotch Brite (why the hell do I have all of this Scotch Brite in my house?) No Scratch Sponge with scratchy blue stuff on one side (odd since it is “no scratch”) and then way in the back is this used Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. You know the one I’m talking about. They advertise that you don’t need any cleaners, just this sponge and it magically cleans stuff all sorts of counters and tubs and yes, even showers. Well guess what…it is MAGIC! OMG…this thing is amazing! No kidding, here, AMAZING!

Ok, so this is how it all went down…me on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor, shower door wide open, shower water running, bleach sprayed, and all 3 sponges sitting at a hands reach…ready for the showdown with that black crap! First the Shower Scrubber, because hell, shower scrubber is in it’s name so this shit should work…scrubbing. Scrubbing some more. Arm. Getting. Tired. Scrub some more. What the hell?!!? This isn’t a shower scrubber. This is a frickin Ab Glider, but for arms. STUPID. Okay, on to the other Scotch Brite sponge…because it’s exactly the same as the other frickin Scotch Brite product only smaller and a different shade of blue, so that should work better. Yeah…nothing. This is ridiculous. My parents will show up Sunday and I’ll still be on the floor of the bathroom. My right arm will be bigger…but the shower will still be black!

So, I grab the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. Wait. For. It. YEP! What the hell is this thing? That black is fading. I spray some more bleach…come on, the Scotch Brite had some bleach so I wanted it to be fair…and more black fading. In fact, black almost gone. And that yuckiness behind the 40 million shampoo and conditioner bottles…yeah that’s disappearing too! What is this thing? Oh wait…yeah…it’s not a Shower Scrubber…IT”S FRICKIN MAGIC PEOPLE…yeah…I’ll say it again…FRICKIN MAGIC (Mr. Clean, you are welcome to quote me in your next commercial)!!!

Okay, I’m usually a skeptic. I mean, I know those models in the Victoria’s Secret Catalog are not that perfect (or that’s what I tell myself) and I know that dog in the commercial doesn’t really like that Kibbles and Bits that much (cause my dogs hate it)…but this crap is real. It really does work. Sheez, this must be the first advertisement that isn’t pulling my leg. I am blown away! It really does work. Now, I am pretty cheap (I don’t even know how much these things cost) and of course I am broke…but I will be running out and buying me more of these Mr. Clean Magic Erasers (I’m not even sure where this first one came from but believe me, I owe someone some thanks). These things are totally worth whatever money they will cost me (or my parents, here’s keeping my fingers crossed that they sell them at Costco in a huge frickin box of 100).

Now listen up Moms! I am honestly telling you (and we Moms really have to help each other out) that these things really do work and it seriously made cleaning easier and faster. And believe me, Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is not paying me to say this (although I would not refuse a nice little gift of say, 20 or 30 sponges) but if you have not tried these things…do it. Do it and let me know if it works as well for you as it did for me…or maybe it was just the wine. No…No, it was definitely the Magic!!!

Oh, and on a side note…I’ll be registering at Target…you can just look up Mr. and Mrs. Clean!!

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