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Posts Tagged ‘raising kids’

Very Friendly Butterfly!

They say if a butterfly lands on you it means good luck! I think it’s just plain cute!

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I always tell my daughters, “You probably should be nicer to each other, one of these days you may wake up and discover that each other is all you have”. Of course, it goes on deaf ears. Just like I’m sure it did when I was younger and I was irritated with one of my 3 sisters. Raising two girls sure has made me appreciate my mother, who raised 4. Every time I tell my parents stories of the trials and tribulations of raising 2 girls, they just smile and I know they are thinking “Payback’s a bitch”!! Well, probably without the bitch part, since I definitely didn’t learn my cussing from my parents! LOL!

So, a while back, my mom gave the 4 of us girls this USB filled with pictures. She took and scanned in pictures of us growing up, categorized them by daughter and then saved them to a USB for each of us. Then, when realizing she had so much room on the USB, she saved each individual ones, to each others…so basically, we all have each others pictures. My mother is amazing and I don’t want to even get started on that, because this post is supposed to be about my sisters, and I could write about my amazing mother for days. So anyways…the recent family camping trip reminded me about my USB and so I looked through the pictures again last night. They make me laugh…they make me think, what the hell were we wearing…they make me cry, wishing I lived right next door to all of them…and they make me realize…hey, did I ever get new stuff? I mean, I know I’m the youngest…but did I only get hand me downs? LOL! I might file a formal complaint!

What I’ve learned as an adult, and which I try to tell my girls, even though they don’t listen, is that I do remember cat fights at my house. I do remember wishing I was an only child. I do remember wishing I had my own room or I didn’t have to wear hand me downs. But now, those things are just stories and pictures, that we laugh about. Now, I am so grateful to have my sisters in my life. We’ve had a few “girls trips” over the years and boy, the laughter that still comes from thinking about those nights…Paula blowing the power at the casita…Laura falling down the stairs…Kathy and I having a few too many tequila shots and losing the car and our credit cards! I can’t imagine my life without my sisters…and yet 30 years ago, I would have traded any of them for a puppy in a heart beat! LOL!

The Four of Us

My mother used to dress us alike. My dad used to say it’s because she made our clothes from the old curtains! LOL! But seriously, she did make all of our clothes. She and my aunts would get together and they would sew clothes for all of us kids. (Who does that? Do any mom’s do that anymore?) And unfortunately they were always matching!

It's like a freak show with all the matching! LOL!

We would have the same material, but they would be different patterns. That was great for Laura, the oldest, because she only had to wear it once…but me, yeah, hand me downs, so basically it looked like I wore the same thing for like 4 years…because I had to wear everyone else’s clothes! Haha, I have proof Mom, don’t think you’re getting away with this!

Notice the red and blue dresses!

And then…

Notice the red and blue dresses now!!

I talked about my family a little in my post about our family camping trip and I might have concentrated then on how crazy funny my family is. But I think when I look back through all these pictures of me and my sisters I can’t help but think about how amazing my parents were at raising us to actually “be sisters”. Yes, maybe they had to force us to spend time together then, and hell, they even force us to spend time together now (couple years ago they paid for us all to go on a cruise for their 50th anniversary and of course, there is the annual family camping trip) but they taught us how important it is to be a family…and I hope it’s something that I can show my girls as well. It’s hard for me, with a broken family. I worry about whether I can instill that in them as my parents did us…but a family doesn’t mean you have to be a dad, mom and 2.5 kids living in a big house with a white picket fence. A family means you have to love each other, tolerate each other and support each other. The tolerate thing I’m still trying to teach my girls. LOL! I guess that will come in time! Hmmm, I wonder if my sisters are still just tolerating me? ­čÖé

Vacationing in San Diego!

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This past weekend my entire family went on our annual camping trip. Yes, there were a few members missing but I believe we still had about 25 people there. All in one cabin. Yep, I’m going to say that again. ALL. IN. ONE. CABIN!!!! Haha, you can already imagine the fun, can’t you? But seriously, my family is fun. I wonder if most people can say that? I always tend to get sort of lost in my own little bubble and feel like I’m so normal, but the more I look around, the more I see that I’m the different one. So maybe everyone doesn’t vacation annually with their entire family in one cabin. I guess it’s their loss. Because it truly is a very fun time for all of us.

You see, I grew up camping. Since before I can even remember, my family (including aunts, uncles, grandparents & cousins) has always spent the summertime camping in the White Mountains. Now when we were young, we camped in tents. You know, the type of camping where you can’t take showers and you pee behind a bush. Although, thank goodness my Dad has always been a camping freak and therefore always had the latest inventions…like porta-potties! LOL! I still am not good at the “pee behind a bush thing”. Definitely spoiled. So anyways, growing up…we spent most camping trips at the same campsite. No, I don’t mean at the same location in the White Mountains…I mean at the exact same campsite at that exact same location in the White Mountains. Dad – Camping Freak…remember?!!! I remember us getting there one time and someone was in our spot…yeah, that didn’t go over well. My Dad stalked those people until they left…then we moved camp into OUR spot. Haha, bet those people have never been camping since.

Me & my Mom and sisters, Kathy & Paula

But now, we are all older…and things like showers seem so much more important. Although, I will be the first to admit…I didn’t shower on this last trip. I’m still a believer in the “if you’re camping, you get dirty” thing. But, really with all those people, a cabin is really easier. Especially for feeding all of us. And boy, do we eat well. This year there was an entire table (and several buckets) dedicated to just the snack foods. I think I ate my weight in gummy bears! And Saturday morning breakfast…Egg McMuffins. Yep, and I am the Queen of making the round eggs for them. Maybe I could get a job at McDonalds? Wait…I think my niece suggested that. Thanks a lot Michelle!! LOL! Anyways, I digress, camping with my family is an experience that I will treasure for the rest of my life. This year I think was our 13th or 14th year. So my youngest has grown up doing this trip. This year, we had 3 of the 5 great grandkids with us. If you ask me, my parents are the most amazing people around…getting their whole family together like that every year…just so we can all make fun of each other!

If you're camping...you get dirty!

Dirt at its finest!

So of course, there are certain traditions that we do every year…like The Great Boodini, the biggest fish competition, the Sam Ting joke (yeah, its not really funny, but all my life I’ve never been able to say “same thing” without saying “Sam Ting”) and this year we started a new tradition…Minute to Win It games. Of course, there’s also the Abandoned Cabin walk. Yep, its just what it sounds like. We all go for a walk through all of the abandoned cabins and we talk about ghosts and finding dead bodies…and most times there is at least one “scary moment” when someone screams! Yeah, it sounds dumb…but it wouldn’t be a family camping trip without it.

The Great Boodini!!

So, The Great Boodini. That started so long ago. There are 4 girls in my family…yes I know, my poor Father…and amongst us we have 11 kids (my baby is the youngest of them at 13 now). Those 11 now have 5 kids amongst them. Geez, everytime I think about that I feel so old. Every camping trip, my Father would do magic tricks for the 11 kids. And every year he got better and spent more money on tricks. Eventually he became, The Great Boodini, and the box of tricks was made and I believe the kids even made him a cape and hat. Then, those 11 kids started to become teenagers…and those darn boys…they started to learn The Great Boodini’s tricks. And that pissed The Great Boodini off…so he went into retirement. LOL! But now, last year, he had a reappearance…and now he has a whole new audience to play too. And the little ones, they loved it! And The Great Boodini has learned to ignore the heckling from the crowd of obnoxious older kids (and their parents, LOL). Or maybe he’s just losing his hearing? Whatever, he is a true professional…and I look forward to more years of him!

So this year, we decided to add a night of Minute to Win It games to our schedule. My youngest looked up a bunch of games, made all the notes, bought all the supplies and ran the whole shebang! And it was a blast. We seperated into 2 teams…the Bad Asses and the Tight Asses (yep, I keep saying, my family is crazy). All I have to say is…it was HYSTERICAL. Yep…my family finds amusement in the silliest of things…mostly making fun of each other….so a night of stupid games where you’re putting panty hose over your head, yeah that is classic shit for us! Ahhh, the memories. And years of embarrassing stories to follow!

Looking nice Bill!

Alex & Taylor stacking dice!

I guess it’s hard to explain my family. I mean, to me I think we are just hilarious. From my Dad’s stupid jokes to our ability to make fun of each other on a non-stop basis…the rule growing up was, “whoever is not here is who we talk about”. But, since just about everyone is there at camping…we just make fun of my Dad. I mean, he really is an easy target. And if you can’t laugh at each other, who can you laugh at. Every year, of course, the guys spend most of their time fishing…while us girls sit up at the cabin and make fun of the guys. Hey, whoever’s not there, remember?!! But last year, my Dad brought up this singing fish. You know, that really annoying fish plaque that moves and sings. Yeah, funny…as long as you don’t have to listen to it for days on end. And so began a new tradition of whoever caught the largest fish had to take the fish plaque home (it has been, for some reason unbeknownst to me, named Frankie) and it must be displayed in the winner’s house for every one to see. Yep, and believe me, it is a rule that is enforced. My poor nephew won last year and I think he had just moved into his first apartment by himself. If that’s not a great way to turn women off, I don’t know what is. Sorry Christopher! LOL! So this year, not only was Frankie prominently displayed at the cabin all weekend but the winner also received a little poem my Dad wrote (yep, get the idea, he’s goofy) and for the rest of the year…the winner’s vote counts for 2 votes at any family decisions. Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up. My family really is that funny. Apparently we make family decisions…because I’ll tell you, that seemed to be an important part of winning. So, those boys set out to catch the largest fish…longing for Frankie (and the double vote power) and by Saturday afternoon, one of my nephews was in the lead with a 15 inch trout. And then Saturday evening came along…and along comes…GIRL POWER!!!! My nephew’s girlfriend (yep she’s family now) on her first shot at it, comes back with a 15 1/4 inch winner! Yah…we girls now have more power in the family decisions. Watch out boys! Next year we might just make you all watch Steel Magnolias!

Victoria's Winning Fish!!

Papa presenting Frankie!

I didn’t set out to write this long of a post. I guess it shows that when it comes to my family, I just can’t say enough. Some of my greatest memories of growing up are from camping…and I am so happy that my girls will be able to say the same thing when they are older. And hopefully we will still be getting together in the White Mountains every summer…for a weekend of laughter, bad jokes and a lifetime of embarrassing stories about each other!

The 2011 Summer Camping Crew!

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About a year or so ago, I was diagnosed with this silly little thing called Eosinophilic Colitis. All the symptoms that led up to the diagnosis are not really fun to discuss but lets just say I got to a point where I was thinking maybe I should just skip eating and just get my nutrition from Dr Pepper being inserted via IV, since the wonderful DP seemed to be the only thing that didn’t bother me. Now I had no idea what this Eosino-whatever was, but after lots of goggling and many doctors appointments…I finally got some perspective. Try the Dr Pepper IV!! Haha! Actually, the truth is, the colitis is inflamed by allergens. So, apparently, after much work and eliminating and then reintroducing things into my diet, I discovered that I need to avoid; wheat (gluten), dairy, egg, soy, shellfish, fish, and peanuts. I also learned along the way that I’m allergic to pineapple and sugar substitutes.

Now, when I say allergy…its more like an intolerance (except with a few items), the point being…if I eat one or more of the items, I won’t necessarily die. However, there are times I felt like that would feel better! LOL! Seriously, in the beginning, it was easy to avoid these things. I mean, the very first day without those things in my diet I felt amazing. I had more energy, my stomach didn’t feel bloated and painful. My sinuses were better and my eyes were less itchy. And I definitely spent more time out and about and less time in the bathroom (TMI?). And in the first month, I dropped 20 lbs. Hell yeah, that felt good (although honestly, I didn’t really need to lose that much, but it did feel good). And I’ve noticed, the longer I avoid these things…the stronger the reaction seems to be when I do eat them. How do I know that? Well, now a year or more later…my brain says…eat a muffin…it won’t kill you…remember? Ugh!

So, the truth is. On occassion…and believe me, there are better days than others and there are definitely things that trigger it…I cheat. I said it…I CHEAT!!! Now there are a couple of things that really aid in the cheating. (Right now I’m going to pull the old politician or athlete trick and blame someone or something else for my cheating problems, like Tiger and Weiner)! First, the fact that I know if I eat a piece of bread my throat isn’t going to close up and I’m not going to die, definitely starts to weaken my willpower. I mean, if I knew it was going to kill me, I would avoid it. That’s a no brainer. Second, I’m a stress eater. And eating a salad with balsamic vinegar and olive oil on it when you’re stressed just doesn’t quite frickin do it for me. Am I right? Any stress eaters out there right now agreeing with me? Yeah you know what I’m talking about…when you’re stressed, you eat chocolate cake. Or a Big Mac. Or chocolate cake with a Big Mac, as an appetizer. Yeah, that makes me feel better…until about an hour later, but whatever!

Third, here’s the biggest reason for cheating (and no, its not because there is so much access because I’m rich and famous and Twitter is so much fun, that was Tiger’s and Weiner’s excuses) it is so DAMN EXPENSIVE to eat healthy. Seriously, why does the economy or whoever is in charge of pricing the fricking groceries make it so much more expensive to eat fruit and vegetables than frozen pizza’s and burritos? Seriously. That. Is. A. Huge. Issue!!! No wonder we have so many obese children out there…are you reading this Michelle Obama…it is a hell of a lot cheaper for a mom to go buy her kid two 69 cent tacos from Taco Bell then to make them chicken, rice and steamed vegetables at home. That is a big problem. And in these times, when money is tight for everyone, its scary to think of the health disasters we are creating for future generations by making healthy eating so inaccessible. Sad. It’s very sad.

I’m struggling financially a little bit myself right now. I’m single. No support from anyone but myself to raise these 2 teenage girls. I’m trying to get my own business going and its tough. Really tough. But I’m lucky. See my parents come up once a month and take me and the girls to Costco and stock up on groceries for us. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have such amazing, understanding and helpful parents. Without them, the girls and I would be like so many others…struggling to eat a decent meal every day…especially a healthy meal. But, even so, even with this food…it is still hard to eat healthy. Why? Because someone thinks muffins should be cheaper than fruit. And really, why can you buy a 2 quart tub of butter for less than you can buy an 8 ounce tub of vegan butter? Yes, I said it, Vegan Butter. And if you haven’t tried it, you shouldn’t knock it. See, its the only butter I can have…so it is yummy! But Costco doesn’t sell vegan butter. Or gluten free waffles. So, I have someone buying me groceries to help me out. What am I supposed to do? Say no thank you because I can’t eat that. Hell no. I take it and I love it and I’m grateful for it. And then I eat a damn muffin for breakfast!

Yeah. That’s what I had for breakfast this morning. Yep. I’m still hurting. And it’s 3pm. I know. We also bought bell peppers, mushrooms, romaine lettuce, and grapes at Costco and I could have made myself something. But that muffin sure was easier and it was so frickin yummy! And that comes to my final point. To eat healthy…you have to make everything yourself. Healthy food doesn’t come in a can or plastic container (at least not usually). So you have to cook. You have to prepare and cook everything. And then that means I have to do dishes. Even worse, I have to listen to kids say, when is dinner going to be ready, I’m starving! Ugh, impatient little buggers! Anyways, it seriously is a lot of work to prepare healthy food for yourself and your kids…and I’m thinking somehow, somewhere, someone has got to make healthy eating easier and more affordable. Or at least get me a dishwasher!

So, have I bitched enough yet? Maybe, but I think that what I’d really like to do is start sharing recipes and money saving grocery tips with all my friends and fellow mom bloggers and tweeps (Can we say Extreme Couponing). Also, more importantly, share healthy meals that kids will eat and enjoy. My kids complained a lot in the beginning of the changes. But what I’ve learned is that if they don’t see me add Rice Milk and Vegan butter into a recipe…they have no idea. As they say, what they don’t know, can’t hurt them!

So, I’m going to create a page for healthy, quick recipes and healthy eating/cooking tips. And I would love to get suggestions from all of you! So let me know what you’re eating…and I’ll add it to the page! (Email me your ideas and recipes at functioningdysfunctional@gmail.com and make sure to include your blog/twitter name).

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As the mother of two teenage girls there are times when I find myself thinking, “Where did I go wrong”? Haha, I kid…but really, there are definitely times when I say to myself, “Didn’t I teach them that”? Now, don’t get me wrong…my girls are amazing. And they are polite and they are respectful at school and to others. I have more than enough times been told by teachers or their friend’s parents how sweet and well mannered my girls are. They know not to talk to strangers and never get in a car with someone they don’t know. They know you don’t drink and you don’t do drugs and please, please, please don’t get pregnant! But what I’m talking about are the things that you don’t realize are important to teach your kids until they’re grown and you realize it’s now too late. Things like, this is a trash can…the place you put your trash! See, didn’t know you had to teach them that…did you?

So this is for all you new moms out there. These are the little things that you may not really know are taught skills and don’t just come naturally to these little buggers. Hell, if I can spare one mom from having to flush the toilet after sniffing her way through the house trying to figure out what that smell is, then I’ve done my job! So here it goes!

1. Like I’ve already mentioned, putting your own trash in the trash can is not an instinct…it is a learned skill. And believe me…it is one of the hardest skills to teach. Heck, algebraic equations are nothing compared to, “This is trash. This is a trash can. This is how you put your own trash in the trash can”. See, even sounds hard doesn’t it. I’ve often thought I needed a neon flashing light TRASH CAN sign with an arrow pointing down however, more than enough times I’ve seen them carry their trash into the kitchen. Only to later find it sitting on the counter, right above the trash can. I’m sure that last 6 inches would have killed them.

2. A closet. Nope they don’t automatically know what a closet is either. So repeat this many times in those first couple of years so that it sticks with them when they’re teens…”This is a closet. This is the kitchen floor. Closet…Kitchen Floor…Closet…Kitchen Floor…Closet…Kitchen Floor”. I’m sure you get the picture!

3. Flushing the toilet! If you think potty training is hard, just wait until you go flush the toilet one day because it hasn’t been flushed in, I don’t know, maybe 4 or 5 uses. And then when you flush it, the extreme load of toilet paper clogs it up and then you find yourself plunging the toilet as yucky toilet water splashes all over your feet. Yup…important thing to note…you will never, ever be able to teach them how to use the plunger…so make sure you introduce them to that little thing on the side of the toilet called the “flusher”!!

4. Rinsing a dish. Yep, a very easy task that we moms know to just do. Why do we know it? Because we do the dishes. And when we’ve been scrubbing hardened, melted cheese off a plate for 25 minutes, we realize we are the only ones that must know this. I always say to my girls, “If you had to do the dishes, you would remember to rinse your plate before you put it in the sink”. Wait, I have a thought…can you teach your kids to do the dishes? Haha, I dream!

Am I scaring you new moms yet? And you thought Please and Thank You were the hard ones!

5. The Hamper. Yep, the Hamper. I’m not sure my teenagers know what a Hamper is. I mean they know how to use cell phones and iPods and dvd players and record shows on the dvr (I’m exaggerating a little here because we don’t even have cable at home, much less a dvr, but not important). They can use computers and Google stuff that I wouldn’t even think about Googling, (Was googling even a word when I was a kid?). They know how to put outfits together that would make Tyra Banks proud and they know how to straighten (or curl) their hair like a pro. BUT THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A HAMPER IS!!!!! H.A.M.P.E.R, kids! It’s that thing in your room, in the hallway, in my room, and in the laundry room that holds dirty clothes. And yes, I said “dirty” clothes, so please stop throwing the clean ones in there just because you don’t know where the “closet” is yet!!!

6. Teaching them to walk. Yes, I know, you parents of one year olds right now are saying…I’m teaching that now…how can this be an issue when they’re 13 and 16. Oh it is. Believe me. When is it an issue? Here’s an example…We are all sitting in the living room enjoying a good episode of Glee or maybe American Idol, and one of the kids will say, “Can you get me a drink”? Uh, didn’t I teach you to walk when you were one? Did you forget? What’s that song, “Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you’ll be walking cross the floor”. Or more importantly, maybe I should sing them the next line, “Put one foot in front of the other, and soon you’ll be walking out the door“! Yeah, you heard me!!

7. The definition of a parent. Yes, Webster’s says something simple like “a father or a mother”. But it leaves out important things like, “person who gets to make all the rules, what they say goes and is the final decision maker in everything”! Make sure your kids learn this part of the definition. Also important to note, that you should never let them believe the definition of parent is, the one who pays for everything, picks up everything, cooks everything and never gets a break!

8. There is no such thing as a Money Tree! Believe me…they believe in the money tree as strongly as they believe there is a fat man in a red suit that somehow gets into the house even when you don’t have a chimney! But as hard as I’ll defend that a frickin Bunny comes round once a year (seriously, a bunny, WTF, how did we ever believe this when we were kids, I mean man in the red suit I can sort of defend, but bunny, ugh, seriously) I will strongly defend that there is no money tree…for anything. Because believe me…teens…they figure if you don’t have money for rent, you might still be able to be able to raid “The Tree” to pay for quitar lessons from that guy who tried out to be the backup to the backup guitarist of some band that I’ve never heard of!! And hey, if any of you have some secret insight to this “Money Tree” thing that I’m not aware of…real friends share. That’s all I’m saying!

9. Adult Time Out. Okay, listen up…teach this early. That Adults get time out too! This is really, really an important lesson to teach them. I remember the first time I made my oldest mad and she told me I needed a time out. I was like, really? OMG, you are right. Mommy has been very bad. I better go to my room for a couple hours by myself and think about what I’ve done. And I better take this bottle of wine…and maybe this shrimp cocktail to help me think. Fish is good for your brain you know, so I’ll think better! So, right from the start make them aware of “Adult Time Out”…because it may be your only chance for a break some days. And you better quickly learn how to break the rules!!

10. Teach them that no matter how many times they forget to put their trash in the trash can…or however many times we find clean clothes with the dirty clothes on the floor instead of the HAMPER…or however many times we try to break the rules, but they still never put us in time out…that we love them anyways. Because a Mom’s love is unconditional. And that’s definitely not a lesson you can teach…but they will eventually learn. And hopefully they’ll learn it while they’re across the country going to college because you didn’t work this hard to pay for school close to home now did you!!!! ­čÖé

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Today I took the Mom Pledge. If you’re a Mom Blogger, I think you should too. Even if you haven’t been bullied or badgered on your blog site, you should still take the Pledge. Let me tell you why I did it.

I am very new to this blogging thing that I have so quickly become addicted to. I started my blog in December, thanks to the wonderful advice from my good friend, Conflicted Mean Girl. And I have enjoyed every minute of it. I have found it to be a great stress reliever from a long day of working and parenting and everything else life throws my way…like stupid boys and dumb bosses. And I even find that sometimes when I need a little laughter, I read my own blog. Life doesn’t seem all that bad…when you can laugh at yourself.

And friends? I have made tons. I was blown away by the support of the other bloggers, primarily this crazy group of women called Mom Bloggers. I mean, I didn’t set out to be a Mom Blogger. I blog about my kids, but I also blog about my dogs and my job and especially about dating. I have also had a chance to blog about my past experiences with domestic violence and learning how to recover from it. But if there is any one group that I am proud to be a part of…it is these Mom Bloggers. You ladies are amazing. You have accepted me without any question into your group. You have never criticized me for the sometimes stupid things I say or the maybe not perfect parenting skills I may write about occassionally. And you have made me feel very loved. Thank you all for that.

And if you aren’t one of those who can accept others unconditionally like the women I’m talking about (and dad’s for that matter) then maybe you should take a good hard look at yourself and ask why you have to be so judgemental? If you don’t like what you just read, then instead of writing cruel comments or snide remarks why don’t you just take yourself somewhere else. No one made you read our blogs. And believe me, all of us Mom’s have enough struggles in our lives, we don’t need extra torment from strangers.

So if you are a Mom Blogger then I encourage you to go take the Mom Pledge also, and keep doing the wonderful things you’re doing!

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You know you’re a Mom when:

1. The last time you went to the bathroom by yourself was…heck, you can’t remember.

2. You reach into your bag for your credit card and you pull out; a bottle, a sippy cup, a diaper, 2 spare onesies, baby tylenol, mommy tylenol, diaper rash cream…ahhhh, the wallet!

3. You have been driving for 30 minutes singing out loud before you realize that is Barney/The Wiggles/Mickey Mouse you’re singing to…and there are no kids in the car.

4. You finally understand the true meaning of Unconditional Love.

5. You can catch vomit mid-stream in your hands and not even blink an eye.

6. You find yourself using words like: poopy and pee pee, and have songs for everything like: “Someone in the house has poopy pants, poopy pants, poopy pants”.

7. Your idea of “grabbing a drink” becomes, sneaking some vodka into your orange juice while you watch Finding Nemo for the 3rd time that night. (That little Dory really does crack me up)

8. You wake up at 6 am on a Saturday because you are really excited to write the “You Know You’re A Mom When…” post on your blog.

9. No longer is staying up until 2 am drinking fun…because you know you’ll be up at 6 am with the little booger face…and you’re actually looking forward to it!

10. A nice dinner out is usually with a big rat named Chuck or a freaky clown named Ronald.

11. You finally know the answer to the question, “Who would you die for”?

12. Prior to going on a date you check for him on the “Sexual Predators List” instead of the “Forbes 100 Billionaires List”.

13. The inside of your car looks like an episode of cops! (Man, I hope that’s melted chocolate)!

14. It takes you 30 minutes to get everything and everyone together, just so you can run down the street to get gas.

15. Your two teenage girls drive off together in the same car, and you think to yourself…there goes my entire world. If I lose that, I’ve lost everything!

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