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Posts Tagged ‘top searches’

I’m sort of embarrased when I see that my last post was on May 26th. Seriously? What the hell have I been doing? I mean, its not like I’m out there making the big bucks…so really, what have I been doing? Raising 2 teenagers…check. Taking care of 3 dogs…check. Making sure 2 birds and 2 hamsters have water and food…check. Making meals…check. Doing laundry…check. Cleaning house…check. Working some lame ass part time worthless piece of shit job…check. Drinking…NOT ENOUGH!

Okay. So I’ve been a little busy with every day life. But really. Blogging is the best relief for my everyday, sorry ass, life…so what the hell have I been doing? For days I’ve been saying that I’m going to write and yet, I find myself never doing it. I have a problem with that. When my life gets crazy and things are not really going well…I sort of hide. I become a recluse. I stop talking to people. I stop doing things that make me happy…because then reality sets in and it just makes me miserable again. Ugh…IS IT EVER GOING TO BE MY TURN? I’m being serious here. Whoever is in charge of this fucking thing…when do I get a break!

Okay. I vented. I feel a little better. I find that when you’re feeling shitty about yourself or your life or job or whatever, it helps to look around and see that others have it shittier than you. So you should probably just stop your whining. So, today I looked at my searches. You know. The things people search that bring them to my blog. Haha and yep…suddenly my life did not seem that flippin bad. Since tomorrow is my 6 month anniversary of when I started my blog, I thought it would be fun to see some of the sorry ass people that have gotten sent my way.

I don’t want kids, is that why I’m single” – If you’re a man(and lets face it, a man typed in this search)…yes…that and you’re probably just an idiot.

Teenager rule book” – If I had that, these effen teenagers wouldn’t be running the show over here. In fact, I think I’m going to go search that one myself!

What do I do if I’m dating a disfunctional man” – First. Learn to spell. That will help you attract better men. Second, I can spell and I attract the biggest losers around. So don’t come looking for your answers here people!!

I am looking for a mickey mouse t-shirt that says – your not the boss of me” – Hahahaha really? What the hell? How did that get you here? And who would wear that? I hope its for your kid and not yourself, weirdo. And it’s you’re not your. Geez what is wrong with people!

Picture of a night mask with a monkey face” – LOL! This is so funny. Because I have one. And I have a picture posted. Here. See, I’m an idiot and that’s why I’m single. Hey, whoever searched this…I stole it from my daughter…I would not buy one for myself. It’s a joke. A joke!!!

Givers and takers” – I think my dad must be learning how to use the computer! Dad – do not read my blog. You will not like it!!! Just saying!

Friends who are disfunctional around birthdays” – Does anyone know how to spell these days? Seriously? It’s dysfunctional people! I would know…I am as dysfunctional as they come. And to whoever searched this…if they’re dysfunctional around your birthday…they are dysfunctional all the time…run! Find better friends! (Note to self: take your own advice)!

And my very favorite one – “arnold schwarzenegger soundboard and its not a tumor” – Bwaaahaaaaaa! Tears in the eyes funny! I bet you were a little disappointed when your search led you here…to a post about my weird conversations with my children and the childish ways I behave while “parenting” them. Haha…that one really makes me laugh. And why, really why was someone searching for that?

Oh boy. That was kind of fun. I could go on. There really are some strange…yet sad, searches going on out there. Makes me wonder…what is the stupidest thing that I’ve searched? Hmmmm, that could be another post!!

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